Forcing the Hard Parts

I had gone through my manuscript outline a few weeks ago and flagged the scenes I was going to “skip” for the time being, due to the fact they dealt with an aspect of the plot that I couldn’t emotionally see fit to write at present.

But sometimes you can force yourself to write those hard parts.  Sometimes you need to. When those hard parts touch so solidly on something personal in your life, it can almost be healing to do so.  I’d basically given myself three weeks to let those scenes sit in “flagged purgatory”, fully intending not to touch them until the rest of the manuscript had been written.

But as I mentioned, I don’t like skipping around a lot when I write.  I like to continue in a linear fashion.  The compulsion to complete the chronology overrode my dread of said scenes.  So I girded my metaphorical loins and dove in.

I really surprised myself.  I had some sputters at first, and some of the worry I had regarding those scenes, because they were going to be emotionally difficult for me, ended up helping me get going.  One of the characters really embodied some of my emotions, and by the time I got about a page or so into this particular scene, I was looking forward to finishing it – and finishing it well.

It was liberating.  And it was a little odd to put so many negative emotions and connotations to work on what ultimately was a positive scene.  Suddenly, I’m not afraid of writing those other hard parts.  And the process was a little healing for me too.

I live in my writing.  It’s part of me – so much of myself is woven in the words, the paragraphs, the visual imagery.  So it makes sense that my manuscript should help make me feel better, that it should comfort me in its constancy.

My manuscript gave me a big hug, so to speak, and told me, “It’s okay.  I’m here.  You’ll be fine.  Let’s write some more!”

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